Our Dad's Life
Livin' bigger than Seinfeld's house in the Hamptons...
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Our Dad's Life
Happy Mothers' Day
From Me and My Three Crazy Boys,
Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there holding it down for you and your families. Your strength, patience, compassion, tenderness and love are an inspiration to us all. Without you the world would be a cold and lonely place.
Remember, in life your success is determined not by what you have, but by the mark you leave behind. Teach your children the value of integrity, honesty, compassion, tolerance, patience, common sense, the value of a great education, to be free thinkers, street sense, the value of a dollar and modesty.
Keep your heads up, keep smiling, keep showing your young ones the way and continue to light the path for your children to find their way home when the days seem the darkest. Keep your babies close and your family out of harms way as only mothers can.
Happy Mothers' Day!!
The Our Dad's Life Crew
Buy This Stuff, Fools!...
Hey all,
I am sure you have noticed the Amazon.com links on the left had side of the blog featuring a book and a movie. Each week I am going to put up my current recommendations in a socially conscious effort to expand your horizons and maybe even give you a laugh or two........check them out and if you like what you see make the purchase.
This week I have the book 'You Suck' by Chris Moore (an insanely hilarious and fast read - you will love the action, comedy and smarts of this book - I promise if you buy one you will buy all of his novels). My movie pick is 'Grind' (my boys and I laugh every time we watch this flick - if your kids are over the age of 7 I am sure they will get a laugh out of Grind).
Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!
RDad
I am sure you have noticed the Amazon.com links on the left had side of the blog featuring a book and a movie. Each week I am going to put up my current recommendations in a socially conscious effort to expand your horizons and maybe even give you a laugh or two........check them out and if you like what you see make the purchase.
This week I have the book 'You Suck' by Chris Moore (an insanely hilarious and fast read - you will love the action, comedy and smarts of this book - I promise if you buy one you will buy all of his novels). My movie pick is 'Grind' (my boys and I laugh every time we watch this flick - if your kids are over the age of 7 I am sure they will get a laugh out of Grind).
Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!
RDad
Dad's Tasty Turd Balls (ie. No Bake Cookies)....
The first time I made these cookies for my boys the just stared at the things and swore they would never eat them. While I certainly agreed with their initial reaction which went something like this...
"No way Nana made those things for you and Aunt Chelsie when you were kids!"
"Yeah Dad, no way."
"Those things look like turd balls."
"Yeah, turd balls."
That being said, once I was able to get my tiny heathens to actually taste of the 'turd balls' and he then ensured the other boys that the turd balls were in fact delicious cookies all was well. Now my boys ask for these things just about every weekend.
The prep time is very low and the mess is minimal....
Here's what you'll need:
"No way Nana made those things for you and Aunt Chelsie when you were kids!"
"Yeah Dad, no way."
"Those things look like turd balls."
"Yeah, turd balls."
That being said, once I was able to get my tiny heathens to actually taste of the 'turd balls' and he then ensured the other boys that the turd balls were in fact delicious cookies all was well. Now my boys ask for these things just about every weekend.
The prep time is very low and the mess is minimal....
Here's what you'll need:
- 6 tbsp. of cocoa
- 2 cups sugar (I started using the Splenda Baking Sugar and it works fine)
- 1 stick butter (or margarine)
- 1/2 cup milk
- 3 cups oatmeal
- 3/4 cup peanut butter
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- Sheet of waxed paper
First combine sugar, cocoa, milk and butter in a medium saucepan. Next, cook the mixture over medium heat until it comes to a boil. Let the mixture boil for about 1 minute. Now remove the mixture from heat and immediately add the oatmeal, peanut butter, and vanilla. Stir the mixture well and drop by spoonfuls onto waxed paper.
Let cool and serve!
Good luck and good eating!!
Kid Logic....
Over the weekend I was kidless and since I have no life what so ever I decided to scrub my house from top to bottom. Everything except the baseboards....I DON'T do baseboards. The last time I got down on my knees there was this whole soap thing and then I was in solitary for like two whole months...
Prison jokes are awesome.
That being said, while I was cleaning my boys' rooms I came across so many things that just made me a little cross eyed and really confused....when I confronted my boys about what I had found their responses made me shake my head in disbelief even more than the actual circumstances did.
However, given what I find in their pockets while doing the laundry I guess I shouldn't have been all that surprised.
The following is for your enjoyment and my continued confusion:
1. Gum stuck on back of stereo speaker.
Me: Son, why in the world did you put chewed gum on the back of your stereo speaker?
**IK1: Because I know you get mad when you find it on the floor.
2. Goldfish crackers underneath pillow.
Me: Son, why did I find crackers under your pillow?
**IK2: Because the crackers get hair on them when I leave them under my bed.
3. Nerf Darts hidden in dirty socks.
Me: Son, I cannot even stand how your socks smell, why in the world would you hide darts in them?
**IK3: Cause' when we play guns I know brother will never look in my socks or my underwear. He cheats and steals my darts all of the time.
Me: So, you hide darts in your sweaty, smelly, grimy socks and then stick your hands in them to get the darts to shoot your brothers?
**IK3: Yep.
**** I am pretty sure this is why my boys have each had Pink Eye twice this year.
4. Boogers on the corner of the back corner of my sons' bed - just at the top of his headboard.
Me: Son, can you tell me why I found dried boogers on the corner of your bed? (I usually hang womens' underwear there)
**IK1: Sometimes at night it gets hard for me to breath so I pick my nose and put the boogers there.
Me: Ummm, ok. Why don't you just get up and blow your nose?
**IK1: Cause' it's dark and eating boogers is gross.
Me: Ummm, ok. But, you get up to go pee right?
**IK1: Yeah, but that's different. If I peed on the corner of my bed you would get mad.
I swear, answers like the ones above are exactly why I swore I would never be a teacher. These answers are also why I got the 'big snip'. Understanding 'Kid Logic' is a lot like trying to figure if the woman you are talking to is actually saying 'No' when she says 'No' or if she actually means 'Yes' when she says 'No' or 'No' when she says 'Yes'.
"When I said I didn't want us to get each other anything for our anniversary I didn't really mean it. I just meant I wasn't going to get YOU anything for our anniversary.".......Ummm, ok.
"When I said that I loved your mother we were dating. We are married now, I didn't really MEAN I loved your mother, silly."......Ummm, ok.
With that being said I have now decided to hire a cleaning lady and stop asking questions.
** IK (1, 2, 3): Refers to Idiot Kid 1, 2 and 3.
Prison jokes are awesome.
That being said, while I was cleaning my boys' rooms I came across so many things that just made me a little cross eyed and really confused....when I confronted my boys about what I had found their responses made me shake my head in disbelief even more than the actual circumstances did.
However, given what I find in their pockets while doing the laundry I guess I shouldn't have been all that surprised.
The following is for your enjoyment and my continued confusion:
1. Gum stuck on back of stereo speaker.
Me: Son, why in the world did you put chewed gum on the back of your stereo speaker?
**IK1: Because I know you get mad when you find it on the floor.
2. Goldfish crackers underneath pillow.
Me: Son, why did I find crackers under your pillow?
**IK2: Because the crackers get hair on them when I leave them under my bed.
3. Nerf Darts hidden in dirty socks.
Me: Son, I cannot even stand how your socks smell, why in the world would you hide darts in them?
**IK3: Cause' when we play guns I know brother will never look in my socks or my underwear. He cheats and steals my darts all of the time.
Me: So, you hide darts in your sweaty, smelly, grimy socks and then stick your hands in them to get the darts to shoot your brothers?
**IK3: Yep.
**** I am pretty sure this is why my boys have each had Pink Eye twice this year.
4. Boogers on the corner of the back corner of my sons' bed - just at the top of his headboard.
Me: Son, can you tell me why I found dried boogers on the corner of your bed? (I usually hang womens' underwear there)
**IK1: Sometimes at night it gets hard for me to breath so I pick my nose and put the boogers there.
Me: Ummm, ok. Why don't you just get up and blow your nose?
**IK1: Cause' it's dark and eating boogers is gross.
Me: Ummm, ok. But, you get up to go pee right?
**IK1: Yeah, but that's different. If I peed on the corner of my bed you would get mad.
I swear, answers like the ones above are exactly why I swore I would never be a teacher. These answers are also why I got the 'big snip'. Understanding 'Kid Logic' is a lot like trying to figure if the woman you are talking to is actually saying 'No' when she says 'No' or if she actually means 'Yes' when she says 'No' or 'No' when she says 'Yes'.
"When I said I didn't want us to get each other anything for our anniversary I didn't really mean it. I just meant I wasn't going to get YOU anything for our anniversary.".......Ummm, ok.
"When I said that I loved your mother we were dating. We are married now, I didn't really MEAN I loved your mother, silly."......Ummm, ok.
With that being said I have now decided to hire a cleaning lady and stop asking questions.
** IK (1, 2, 3): Refers to Idiot Kid 1, 2 and 3.
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1 Day Suspension...
This past week on Wednesday I was in my office trying to recuperate from what had already been a terrible morning when I received a call that turned a bad morning into an extremely crappy day.
Have you ever had one of those days when you woke up and swore it was Thursday only to find out it was actually Wednesday? I can't figure out what I hate more, my job or Mondays...(well at least Mondays for now - when MNF starts I am all over Mondays - I just hate Monday mornings).
Anyway, I was at my office wishing it was actually Thursday night and doing my best to look busy when the phone rang and the Principle of my boy's school informed me that I needed to come down and pick up my 9yr. old. As odd as it was for the Principle to be calling, I immediately assumed my son was sick and asked what his temperature was. It was at this time I was informed that my son was being suspended for the day and I should come down immediately.
The term "blood boiling" doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had as I grabbed the key fob to my car and headed to the parking lot. One thing my boys know is I don't put up with nonsense at home and I certainly don't put up with nonsense at school. It was only 9:30AM and I hadn't even finished my Skinny Cinnamon Dulce Latte (quad Venti by the way...that's how I roll!).....'I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.'
When I arrived at the school I waled into the Principle's office to find my son sitting in the corner with his head down. He attempted to look me directly in the eyes, but quickly withdrew his glance out of utter fear.
What happened next has me still shaking my head in disbelief....the conversation I had with the school Principle went something like this....
"Mr. King we are suspending your son for 1 day. Before I go into details please keep in mind we could have suspended him for 5 days."
"Thank you for your consideration. What did he do?" At this point I am thinking, holy crap..5 days....my son must have smacked a few kids around and held the librarian hostage while he took it upon himself to burn all of the politically correct propaganda that fills our local schools (you know that stuff...Mike Has Two Mommies, Mommy Had Plastic Surgery, My Dad Used To Be My Mom).
"Well, Mr. King, this past Saturday your son and a friend of his decided to call a fellow classmate and leave some disturbing voicemails on that child's cell phone which referred to his obesity and his lack of friends. That child brought the cell phone to school and played those messages for their teacher who brought the phone to me and here we are."
At this point I am thinking, ummm ok, you are suspending my son for something he did over the weekend? Seriously? You, the school, are now policing children for incidents off school grounds and outside of school hours? I started to look around the room for the hired Gestapo and a few tastefully placed 'crooked S's'.
Yes, you heard me right. My son was suspended for making prank calls to the obese kid in his class...something he did on a Saturday. My son was being suspended for something he did on a SATURDAY.
Hey look, I know what my son did was wrong. But, I have seen this kid in action. No one likes him. This kid holds the class back and makes his teacher nuts. This is a kid who is as annoying and mean as he is overweight. A kid I watched physically shove a group of girls out of his way to the food table at the class Holiday Party so he could get more Peppermint Jo-Jo's (in his defense those cookies are like crack).
The Principle and I went round for round on the subject for what must have been at least an hour (I was so proud of myself...I didn't reach out and slap the guy or insult his wife one time) before I ended the conversation by stating, "Well now that I know this school is going to manage the behavior of its attending student body even outside of school grounds would you like to swing by my house after dinner and make my kids clean their rooms? Oh, and this weekend my son has a Lacrosse game. Do you think you could meet us there and takes notes of the one kid on the team who hits everyone in the head with his stick. I am sure he deserves at least a 3 day suspension for being overly aggressive and slashing."
With that my son and I left.
Parents beware....your kids could get into a scuffle on the weekend and wind up suspended on Monday. I am so glad the school system in California has decided us parents aren't responsible enough to discipline our own children. Maybe the Principle of my kids' school would like to come to the skatepark with us and hand out detention slips to all of the kids who are smoking and cursing. I'll bring sandwiches.
Have you ever had one of those days when you woke up and swore it was Thursday only to find out it was actually Wednesday? I can't figure out what I hate more, my job or Mondays...(well at least Mondays for now - when MNF starts I am all over Mondays - I just hate Monday mornings).
Anyway, I was at my office wishing it was actually Thursday night and doing my best to look busy when the phone rang and the Principle of my boy's school informed me that I needed to come down and pick up my 9yr. old. As odd as it was for the Principle to be calling, I immediately assumed my son was sick and asked what his temperature was. It was at this time I was informed that my son was being suspended for the day and I should come down immediately.
The term "blood boiling" doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had as I grabbed the key fob to my car and headed to the parking lot. One thing my boys know is I don't put up with nonsense at home and I certainly don't put up with nonsense at school. It was only 9:30AM and I hadn't even finished my Skinny Cinnamon Dulce Latte (quad Venti by the way...that's how I roll!).....'I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.'
When I arrived at the school I waled into the Principle's office to find my son sitting in the corner with his head down. He attempted to look me directly in the eyes, but quickly withdrew his glance out of utter fear.
What happened next has me still shaking my head in disbelief....the conversation I had with the school Principle went something like this....
"Mr. King we are suspending your son for 1 day. Before I go into details please keep in mind we could have suspended him for 5 days."
"Thank you for your consideration. What did he do?" At this point I am thinking, holy crap..5 days....my son must have smacked a few kids around and held the librarian hostage while he took it upon himself to burn all of the politically correct propaganda that fills our local schools (you know that stuff...Mike Has Two Mommies, Mommy Had Plastic Surgery, My Dad Used To Be My Mom).
"Well, Mr. King, this past Saturday your son and a friend of his decided to call a fellow classmate and leave some disturbing voicemails on that child's cell phone which referred to his obesity and his lack of friends. That child brought the cell phone to school and played those messages for their teacher who brought the phone to me and here we are."
At this point I am thinking, ummm ok, you are suspending my son for something he did over the weekend? Seriously? You, the school, are now policing children for incidents off school grounds and outside of school hours? I started to look around the room for the hired Gestapo and a few tastefully placed 'crooked S's'.
Yes, you heard me right. My son was suspended for making prank calls to the obese kid in his class...something he did on a Saturday. My son was being suspended for something he did on a SATURDAY.
Hey look, I know what my son did was wrong. But, I have seen this kid in action. No one likes him. This kid holds the class back and makes his teacher nuts. This is a kid who is as annoying and mean as he is overweight. A kid I watched physically shove a group of girls out of his way to the food table at the class Holiday Party so he could get more Peppermint Jo-Jo's (in his defense those cookies are like crack).
The Principle and I went round for round on the subject for what must have been at least an hour (I was so proud of myself...I didn't reach out and slap the guy or insult his wife one time) before I ended the conversation by stating, "Well now that I know this school is going to manage the behavior of its attending student body even outside of school grounds would you like to swing by my house after dinner and make my kids clean their rooms? Oh, and this weekend my son has a Lacrosse game. Do you think you could meet us there and takes notes of the one kid on the team who hits everyone in the head with his stick. I am sure he deserves at least a 3 day suspension for being overly aggressive and slashing."
With that my son and I left.
Parents beware....your kids could get into a scuffle on the weekend and wind up suspended on Monday. I am so glad the school system in California has decided us parents aren't responsible enough to discipline our own children. Maybe the Principle of my kids' school would like to come to the skatepark with us and hand out detention slips to all of the kids who are smoking and cursing. I'll bring sandwiches.
Top 10's.....
As some of you may know I am an avid Movie, Music and TV fiend. My iTunes library houses roughly 4,000 songs and I have amassed a DVD collection that tops out in the 500's. Every now and then someone finds it funny to test me and as usual that person walks away, head down, tail dragging wishing they had never even begged to question my knowledge, range, depth or overall cultural intelligence....(you know who you are...you thought you were smart asking if I owned Cool as Ice on DVD...nice try sucka!)
In most cases I find out my friends, colleagues and casual acquaintance's wind up being those people who buy DVD's on Tuesdays without any real knowledge of how to start a DVD collection let alone establish what a true collection should be...(these are usually the same people who tried to collect baseball cards/comic books and just kept them in a drawer with no sleeves - savages I say!! Not that I ever collected comic books...come on, those guys are dorks).
So, in honor of MY DVD collection and in testament to my own personal addictions, I am releasing a small Top 10 list of movies every self respecting person should own (please keep in mind these titles are merely a microscopic snapshot of the titles in my archives). Enjoy!
Top 10 Comedies:
In most cases I find out my friends, colleagues and casual acquaintance's wind up being those people who buy DVD's on Tuesdays without any real knowledge of how to start a DVD collection let alone establish what a true collection should be...(these are usually the same people who tried to collect baseball cards/comic books and just kept them in a drawer with no sleeves - savages I say!! Not that I ever collected comic books...come on, those guys are dorks).
So, in honor of MY DVD collection and in testament to my own personal addictions, I am releasing a small Top 10 list of movies every self respecting person should own (please keep in mind these titles are merely a microscopic snapshot of the titles in my archives). Enjoy!
Top 10 Comedies:
- Flectch
- Superbad
- Caddyshack
- Stripes
- Animal House
- The Big Lebowski
- Fast Times at Ridgemont High
- Tommy Boy
- Airheads
- Smokey & The Bandit
Top 10 Family Movies (for those families with kids over the age of 7):
- Goonies
- Star Wars (the original you heathens)
- Raiders of the Lost Ark
- Ghostbusters
- Labyrinth
- The Karate Kid
- Spaceballs
- Pee Wees Big Adventure
- Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
- Grind
Top 10 Western Movies:
- The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean
- The Cowboys
- Young Guns
- Hang Em' High
- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (with Paul Newman and Robert Redford)
- The Searchers
- Fist Full of Dollars
- The Unforgiven
- The Magnificent Seven
- Silverado
Top 10 Action Movies (Karate Movies are not action flicks):
- Bullitt
- Road House
- The Highlander
- Predator (you may argue this is Science Fiction, however I say SHUT UP!)
- Top Gun
- The Terminator
- Die Hard
- First Blood
- Navy Seals
- The Rundown
Top 10 Gangster Movies:
- American Gangster
- Goodfellas
- Snatch
- The Godfather
- The Departed
- King of New York
- Miller's Crossing
- Reservoir Dogs
- Once Upon a Time in America
- The Untouchables
- True Romance (just had to add it - so keep quiet)
Top 10 Dramas:
- Legends of the Fall
- The Color of Money
- Less Than Zero
- Rain Man
- Pretty in Pink
- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
- American Beauty
- On Golden Pond
- My Bodyguard
- To Live and Die in L.A.
I could go on and on....Karate Movies, General Films, Biographical Music Movies, Sports Films, etc....however I am tired of schooling you all. Take notes and then take your butts to Best Buy and stock up. If you need suggestions please feel free to email me.
Ann asked about a Top 10 Chick Flick list....as I have never been talked into seeing such garbage I cannot comment on Chick Flicks or the men who have allowed themselves to be suckered into watching such nonsense.
Nice Catch Kid....
This past week my boys and I celebrated my middle son's birthday....translation: Dad spends WAAAYYY too much money on a gift (iPod Nano $169), Dad practically loses his mind trying to organize a birthday party for a gang of 10 year olds, Dad goes way overboard on gift bags for guests (skateboard stickers, Yo-Yo's, mini-nerf footballs and party snappers $15 per bag - you should see my house at Christmas), Dad spends four hours in a bowling alley (yee ha! Uncle Billy Bob), Dad eats way too much pizza (really bad pizza), Dad overpays for bowling party ($180) and goes home with a headache.
It's all in fun though...right? Does anyone have any idea when kids outgrow such silly things as birthday parties and gift bags? Seriously, ten year old boys are only three years from puberty. I was blown away when a gang of 10 year old boys practically tore me to shreds like a pack of wedding crazed fiances and their mothers at a David's Bridal Once Yearly Sale.
So, anyway as part of my son's overall birthday experience I decided to take him, his brothers and one friend to a baseball game. We were lucky enough to score some great seats just over the visitor dugout ($160) and even see a great game - A's vs. Twins - during which I was actually able to see at least 4 innings in between walking to and from the concession stand....
Trip 1
Two Nachos and three cokes - $35
Trip 2
1 Nachos, 2 Beers, 1 Pretzel and 1 Hotdog - $25
Trip 3
6yr old to the bathroom, 3 Churros, Bag of Peanuts, 1 Beer - $28
Trip 4
6yr old to the bathroom, 3 cokes, 3 red vines - $15
Trip 5
3 packs of dibs, bottle of water, 1 pretzel - $29
Totally insane right?? By the middle of the fifth inning my heart and my wallet were about make a run for the car.
But hey, that isn't even the best part. Sitting in the rain for 3 innings and watching a game go 5 to 4 into the 9th was also pretty damn great, but the best part of the evening had to come when Justin Morneau (the AL MVP and Home Run Champ) tossed a game ball right to my son....who promptly dropped that very same game ball back onto the field....and was quickly heckled by a chorus of "NICE CATCH KID!!"
Luckily for my son Justin Morneau turned out to be a pretty good guy. He quickly reached down onto the field and tossed the ball back to my son who managed to catch the ball and retain it the second time.
Laced with the largest smile I have ever seen on his face my son came back to our seats, plopped himself (and his butter fingers) down next to me and said, "Dad I decided I want to play baseball again."
I just looked at him, laughed and responded, "Why don't we just stick to Lacrosse right now. After that amazing catch I just saw you may want to focus on catching balls using something with a net. Like your Lacrosse stick."
As much as I love my son I am thinking, if a major leaguer lobs you and under hand toss of an official game ball, and that major leaguer just happens to be an AL MVP...you may want to catch the ball, but hey..that's just me.
Have I said how much I love my butter fingered son?
It's all in fun though...right? Does anyone have any idea when kids outgrow such silly things as birthday parties and gift bags? Seriously, ten year old boys are only three years from puberty. I was blown away when a gang of 10 year old boys practically tore me to shreds like a pack of wedding crazed fiances and their mothers at a David's Bridal Once Yearly Sale.
So, anyway as part of my son's overall birthday experience I decided to take him, his brothers and one friend to a baseball game. We were lucky enough to score some great seats just over the visitor dugout ($160) and even see a great game - A's vs. Twins - during which I was actually able to see at least 4 innings in between walking to and from the concession stand....
Trip 1
Two Nachos and three cokes - $35
Trip 2
1 Nachos, 2 Beers, 1 Pretzel and 1 Hotdog - $25
Trip 3
6yr old to the bathroom, 3 Churros, Bag of Peanuts, 1 Beer - $28
Trip 4
6yr old to the bathroom, 3 cokes, 3 red vines - $15
Trip 5
3 packs of dibs, bottle of water, 1 pretzel - $29
Totally insane right?? By the middle of the fifth inning my heart and my wallet were about make a run for the car.
But hey, that isn't even the best part. Sitting in the rain for 3 innings and watching a game go 5 to 4 into the 9th was also pretty damn great, but the best part of the evening had to come when Justin Morneau (the AL MVP and Home Run Champ) tossed a game ball right to my son....who promptly dropped that very same game ball back onto the field....and was quickly heckled by a chorus of "NICE CATCH KID!!"
Luckily for my son Justin Morneau turned out to be a pretty good guy. He quickly reached down onto the field and tossed the ball back to my son who managed to catch the ball and retain it the second time.
Laced with the largest smile I have ever seen on his face my son came back to our seats, plopped himself (and his butter fingers) down next to me and said, "Dad I decided I want to play baseball again."
I just looked at him, laughed and responded, "Why don't we just stick to Lacrosse right now. After that amazing catch I just saw you may want to focus on catching balls using something with a net. Like your Lacrosse stick."
As much as I love my son I am thinking, if a major leaguer lobs you and under hand toss of an official game ball, and that major leaguer just happens to be an AL MVP...you may want to catch the ball, but hey..that's just me.
Have I said how much I love my butter fingered son?
Coffee Confession....
The other morning I pulled into the parking lot of my local Starbucks and did my usual front door drive by to see how long the line was before I made the ever crucial decision on whether I would head across the street and suffer through Peete's low grade Java or not (on Monday's this is never an option). One can never know exactly how many 'stay at home' mom's are working so hard at staying in shape and expanding their horizons all while ordering Double Mocha Frappacino's with extra whip cream and trying to figure out why they can't fit in their jeans. They tend to hunt in packs so their numbers are very deceiving.
The line didn't look too long so I went ahead and parked. Upon opening the front door and stepping inside I immediately let out the "Holy crap" and just shook my head in utter frustration. I had been duped by the women sitting at the tables next to the line....not only do these women hunt in packs they order coffee in them as well.
Worse than the fact that each woman in front of me was holding a coffee list so long she may as well have been ordering coffee for the entire neighborhood, was the fact that the front of the line was at least 20ft from the nearest cash register. What I mean is; the woman standing behind the person ordering had left at least a 20ft buffer between her and the woman ordering. Don't get me wrong, men do this as well and this epidemic is not isolated to Starbucks. I have seen such nonsense at Peete's and The Coffee Bean.
Come on people, since when did ordering coffee become a confessional experience? Seriously. I have seen grown people look over their shoulder to check the crowd distance before leaning in and whispering their drink order to the Green Smocked register jockey who writes the order on a cup and could really care less what drink you (the customer) decides to chug down.
I have also stood in the rain, outside of my local Starbucks because those same privacy obsessed, sugar guilt ridden people refuse to cozy up in line. We don't mind standing shoulder to shoulder in a grocery store line or at a bar when ordering beers or fighting over who is going to jump on the grenade....so can someone please explain to me why we can't listen in while strangers order coffee? What is the big secret? I could care less if you are a muscle head ordering Green Tea or some high powered exec ordering a Pumpkin Spice Latte...just get it done and get it done quick...(you sissy - Green Tea? You know who you are dude....we all have seen you).
Regardless of the store, from Peete's to Starbucks, the act of ordering coffee has become a quiet, confessional type of experience. If Starbucks could raise coffee prices another five cents I am sure they could figure out how to install 'oder booths' so no one else in line could overhear as you lean in and say, "I'll have the venti, white chocolate, double frap with extra whip, three pounds of extra sugar, five extra shots of caffeine, bigger saddle bags, and the turkey bacon, low-fat cheese breakfast sandwich. TO GO!" The response would be, "Pay $25 and go with the Starbucks God my child."
What cracks me up is that once your coffee has been so secretly ordered, you now stand around waiting for some under paid, over hyped Barista (ie. pot smoking, cheeba monkey kid with concert T's under his polo and still lives with his parents) to YELL out your order across the entire store. Way to keep it secret there....where's your 'hush hush' now Mr. Bond?
If you are ever at Starbucks and you are standing in line and the guy behind you cozies right up and gives you an "attaboy" while whispering in your ear that you probably shouldn't have that much sugar.....please turn around and say hello.
"Hi."
The line didn't look too long so I went ahead and parked. Upon opening the front door and stepping inside I immediately let out the "Holy crap" and just shook my head in utter frustration. I had been duped by the women sitting at the tables next to the line....not only do these women hunt in packs they order coffee in them as well.
Worse than the fact that each woman in front of me was holding a coffee list so long she may as well have been ordering coffee for the entire neighborhood, was the fact that the front of the line was at least 20ft from the nearest cash register. What I mean is; the woman standing behind the person ordering had left at least a 20ft buffer between her and the woman ordering. Don't get me wrong, men do this as well and this epidemic is not isolated to Starbucks. I have seen such nonsense at Peete's and The Coffee Bean.
Come on people, since when did ordering coffee become a confessional experience? Seriously. I have seen grown people look over their shoulder to check the crowd distance before leaning in and whispering their drink order to the Green Smocked register jockey who writes the order on a cup and could really care less what drink you (the customer) decides to chug down.
I have also stood in the rain, outside of my local Starbucks because those same privacy obsessed, sugar guilt ridden people refuse to cozy up in line. We don't mind standing shoulder to shoulder in a grocery store line or at a bar when ordering beers or fighting over who is going to jump on the grenade....so can someone please explain to me why we can't listen in while strangers order coffee? What is the big secret? I could care less if you are a muscle head ordering Green Tea or some high powered exec ordering a Pumpkin Spice Latte...just get it done and get it done quick...(you sissy - Green Tea? You know who you are dude....we all have seen you).
Regardless of the store, from Peete's to Starbucks, the act of ordering coffee has become a quiet, confessional type of experience. If Starbucks could raise coffee prices another five cents I am sure they could figure out how to install 'oder booths' so no one else in line could overhear as you lean in and say, "I'll have the venti, white chocolate, double frap with extra whip, three pounds of extra sugar, five extra shots of caffeine, bigger saddle bags, and the turkey bacon, low-fat cheese breakfast sandwich. TO GO!" The response would be, "Pay $25 and go with the Starbucks God my child."
What cracks me up is that once your coffee has been so secretly ordered, you now stand around waiting for some under paid, over hyped Barista (ie. pot smoking, cheeba monkey kid with concert T's under his polo and still lives with his parents) to YELL out your order across the entire store. Way to keep it secret there....where's your 'hush hush' now Mr. Bond?
If you are ever at Starbucks and you are standing in line and the guy behind you cozies right up and gives you an "attaboy" while whispering in your ear that you probably shouldn't have that much sugar.....please turn around and say hello.
"Hi."
Dad's Old School Peppers n' Steak Sammies
Lately my boys have been very much into steak and what they call "man meals". Some nonsense about muscles and getting biggers.....Not sure where this term came from, but in their defense they do attend public school and so much of what they learn could be attributed to life on the mean streets of Danville (it's rough out here in NorCal).
Along with steak, my little guy has also discovered a love of red peppers. This culinary fascination has even found its way into his restaurant ordering which has given many a waitress a few fits here and there...."I will have the chicken tenders with a side of red peppers..please." I don't know about your neighborhood, but not too many sports bars (ie. Hooters) stock red peppers and I would guess not too many 6yr olds ask for those peppers as a side dish.
Anyway, in honor of my boys and my own love of Peppers n' Steak I went through my repertoire of cookery skills and came up with a play on Sausage n' Peppers to make a dish of Steak n' Peppers in the trusty Crockpot. This recipe has about zero prep time and is a great 'all day cooker'.
Here is what you'll need:
Along with steak, my little guy has also discovered a love of red peppers. This culinary fascination has even found its way into his restaurant ordering which has given many a waitress a few fits here and there...."I will have the chicken tenders with a side of red peppers..please." I don't know about your neighborhood, but not too many sports bars (ie. Hooters) stock red peppers and I would guess not too many 6yr olds ask for those peppers as a side dish.
Anyway, in honor of my boys and my own love of Peppers n' Steak I went through my repertoire of cookery skills and came up with a play on Sausage n' Peppers to make a dish of Steak n' Peppers in the trusty Crockpot. This recipe has about zero prep time and is a great 'all day cooker'.
Here is what you'll need:
- 2 lbs. steak (flank steak works great, but use what you love)
- 2 red peppers, seeded and sliced into strips
- 1 small cube of beef bouillon
- 1/4 cup of soy sauce
- 1/2 tsp. ground ginger
- 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
First, cut the steak into serving sliced, sandwich style portions. Then place 1/2 the steak in the bottom of the Crockpot. Now arrange the peppers on top of the steak. Finally, place the remaining slices of steak on top of the peppers.
Now, mix the remaining ingredients in a small bowl and pour the mixture over the meat and peppers. Cover the Crockpot and cook on the low setting for 8-10 hours or on High for 3-4 hours.
I recommend you serve the peppers n' steak on deli style, short hoagie rolls which you can usually find in front of the deli counter at your grocery store. I tried this mix on hamburger buns (a sin for someone from the East Coast..."I know, I know") and it was a very messy disaster.
Add a tossed salad, some sliced peaches for the kiddos and a few beers and this is a great meal.
Good luck and good eating!!